Don’t grow up so fast..

I don’t know if people will read this. I’m not doubting myself or anything but this is basically going to be a post of me venting completely! If you have issues with a parent, specifically a father in my case, then you’ll read on. When you’re young and in your teens, your hormones are everywhere! Literally.

Because of my ‘family issues’ I’ve had to grow up way too fast. I never got the whole ‘teen experience’. Right now has been the only time I’ve started to actually feel like a teenager, and I’m 18! Usually all the teenage stuff starts at about 13/14 but  because of my crappy ‘situation’ I skipped that part completely. I always got the reality side of things my whole life. I was forced to grow up and deal with the terrible side of life when I was entering my teens. Most teens can preserve some sort of childhood aura for a long time but not me.

I don’t know my father. I get a cheque every month from him and that’s all. We went on a ‘date’ last month and it was like going on an awkward first date with the weird guy from school. No conversation, he paid, then it was gone. I actually felt so trashy afterwards. I talked to a close friend afterwards and she shocked, slightly offended even. Her parents are divorced and she still goes back and forth to both. She doesn’t know what its like for me but she was still upset. I actually thought that was great to be honest!

I wouldn’t advice keeping in touch with a parent you don’t like. Especially if they’re bipolar and look down on you as scum. If he read this – which he never would, he doesn’t even know I’m in college or what I’m studying! – he would probably laugh to be honest. He wouldn’t think it was upsetting or anything, he would think it’s pathetic.

I’m not a family person. My mother is adopted and I don’t know my father well enough to know his side. Never had grandparents, don’t know about cousins or aunts. My mothers best friend is my only family, and I also know my mother’s half sister. That’s probably all the family I can deal with for now. I’m usually not like this, all emotional and stuff! But he’s been getting on my nerves lately and if I kept all this inside I don’t tjink the outcome would be very appealing..

Thanks for listening, keep in touch,

Miss Kavanagh

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