Seizures: Music for the Brain


If anyone reading this is epileptic you’ll know exactly how shitty it is. The first time I had a seizure I was watching the movie Memento. I fell off the couch and smashed my head into the floor. I woke up in the ambulance and I had no idea what was going on. The only thing I truly remember about it was that I was super self-conscious – I think it was because I was wearing my pyjamas…

When I was diagnosed with epilepsy my mother cried. I’m not sure why though. I think it may be because she thought I was like perfect. The thought of losing me scared her so much. After swimming professionally for four years she made me quit because she was afraid I would drown. I wasn’t allowed to drive. For a whole month I had to sleep with my door open and she wouldn’t let me in a room on my own. I was also banned from leaving the house for a while. Once I was put on medication she slowly gave me back my freedom. Very slowly…

I still have seizures even though I’m on very strong medication. I was in school once and I felt really sick so I left and got the bus home. I was waiting for the bus to go when I had my seizure. Apparently I said something weird to the driver when I got on the bus so he was keeping an eye on me. So I had the seizure and everyone was taken off the bus and I was taken straight to the hospital room. We were in A&E and I had another seizure. They put me in one of the beds in the emergency room and just as I was coming out of the seizure I had three more. It was a hectic day to say the least. I was put on a drip of…. I’m not quite sure what it was to be honest… but it was amazing! I kept singing to the nurses and they all stood around while I serenaded them with a beautiful rendition of ‘I believe in miracles.’ I was handed a mirror when I ‘sobered up.’ It turns out I hit my face off a bar on the bus. I broke my nose and had two horrific black eyes. When I got back to school the next day I got the biggest slagging in the world!

Being epileptic can be scary. Especially when you don’t know what it is. My friend had a brain tumor a few years before I was diagnosed and when I was getting my brain scan he scared the crap out of me. “Even if you have a brain tumor, its’s not as bad as it sounds.” Not as bad as it sounds! The guy scared the hell out of me! I try to savor the most of what I have now that I’m epileptic. I still get scared from time to time. I feel sick and I don’t know whether I’m going to have a seizure or if I’m actually sick. It really sucks having epilepsy but you kind of get used to it after a while..

I have started to do more things now that I haven’t done. I could have a seizure anywhere and get seriously injured. My sisters friend had a seizure on the street and her head got stuck in the space between the car and the tire. She was okay thankfully but she had to have surgery from breaking her jaw. A few months after I was diagnosed I finally went back and watched Memento – terrible movie…

Stay in touch,

Miss Kavanagh

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